Category Archives: Family Member

Theresa

Theresa

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Hi Mom.

It’s Kristy — of course — using email of course. My role!

I say hello and goodbye to you in the guest room all the time because I know you can hear me now — no more pesky hearing aids. I just hope you are well with Dad, Dan, your family, your friends, and not upset with any of us for what you didn’t have — a beautiful death. Like Dad.

You won’t think so, but selfishly speaking, I’m glad you were with family right up to the end, and not alone in Hawaii with us too far to get to you in time. It was good for us, not for you.

Clif was in the air when you finally left us, almost here. We were all together to care for each other.

You already know about what we did for you at the funeral home. It was a very profound experience for us, to be able to be the last hands touching you and kissing you goodbye. Warm at last, in your favorite sweater and you looked VERY good! Beautiful!

I’m writing now to beg for help from you, Dan, and Dad, to help with Clif and Kathleen. The pair of them, the health is so bad and Clif’s remorse about Hawaii is killing him also.

Please help me care for them and guide them in getting through these complicated and scary times.

If you can, I know you will anyway, but it never hurts to send these messages.

I miss you, my mother, in my house. It was a blessing to have you for so long. I wish we could have done more, seen more, played more. It wasn’t to be, but what adventures we had during this crazy year of terrible weather and disasters.

Please come and help your children when and if you can.

I’ll keep talking to you.

I love you Mom.

Dad and Daniel

Dad and Daniel

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Mom is fading. I’ve been seeing her everyday in Hospice care. I pray I did not act hasty but the surgeon gave her as short as 3 days or as long as six months, and she is in such pain.

This care home I found is so clean and beautiful, with such nice staff, but at the same time I’m SO sad that Mom isn’t home in Hawaii, where she is desperate to be, or at least still in my own house — in the guest room I created for her, or finally, even in a city she knows. She’s in a strange place in a strange city with unknown people.

I know she is safe, and clean, and comfortable, but I’m heartbroken she is in this place that means nothing to her, a city that means nothing to her, while at the same time I’m relieved as to how much care she is receiving.

Clif is on his way to see Mom today. His plane arrives today. He will stay with me a few days while he sees Mom. He will be so anxious and broken when he sees how far she has declined. He is not prepared for it, thinking he can “take her lunch” when I’m just pleased she opens her eyes and recognizes me.

Kathleen starts chemotherapy soon. She is a terrible state and I don’t know when she’ll make it up to see Mom for the last time. She is carrying her own burdens.

I’ve been praying that you bring Mom home to you guys, as soon as you can, so that she isn’t miserable and suffering, or, show me another way — can you make her healthy and stable? I don’t want her gone for my convenience, but I’m adrift knowing how to take care of her up here in these mountains, with such access problems with Kaiser and Medicare. It frightens me to be on this “island of uncertainty.”

Mom came for a visit and never got to go home — it’s just a tragic set of circumstances to leave her house that way, not saying goodbye to her friends and her life in Hawaii, and ending up here, on a strange lifeboat with strange faces, knowing this may be where she dies.

Please bring Mom home to be with you. Please, Dad. Please, Daniel. HELP US.

I miss you both and I love you both.

xox
Kristy

Mom/Grandma Rose

Mom/Grandma Rose

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Today is your birthday, without candles and cake. And since you are not with us, we won’t celebrate.
On a sad day like this, there is not much to say. We ask God to honor you, in his own special way. To grant our one wish and make it come true, to have his choir of Angels sing “Happy Birthday” to you.

Mom, Gram and Aunt Eleanor

Mom, Gram and Aunt Eleanor

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In loving memory of 3 beautiful and strong women… Mom, Gram and Aunt Eleanor

From Carol:
Grandma was a strong woman. However, underneath the tough exterior, she always told me to walk, talk and act like a lady. That is what I remember the most about her and I live by her rule every day.
Mom was appropriately named. She was beautiful and delicate like a rose. When she laughed, her whole face was in full bloom. I still talk to her every day and I know she listens. Mom never judged people. She accepted you for who you were. She was a beautiful soul.
Aunt Eleanor was a wonderful baker and her baked goods were better than the best bakeries around. She was warm and funny.

From Cheryl:
On Mother’s Day to Mom and Gram and in loving memory of our Aunt Eleanor.
Those we love don’t go away. They walk beside us every day.
Unseen, unheard but always near.
Still very much loved each day, still missed and still very dear.

From Donna:
On Mother’s Day and in loving memory of Aunt Eleanor..
Your memory to us is a keepsake, with which we will never part.
Though God has you in His keeping, we will always have you in our heart.

From Sandy:
Right now I can’t think of anything only tears filling my eyes. They say it gets easier I don’t think so. My heart still breaks everyday.

From Valerie:
With Gram I always had fun playing games with her especially hide and seek. She would always hide under the stairs and I could never find her. I enjoyed fishing with her and Pap.
With Mom I love remembering the good times and the laughs especially going to church and the casino. Those were her two favorite places we always went together.
Memories of Aunt Eleanor is always her baking. I loved her yellow Bundt cake with cherries and walnuts.

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Rose/Mother

Rose/Mother

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It’s hard to believe that you have been gone almost four years and yet it seems like yesterday! There was so much left unsaid, so many mistakes never to be corrected. I owe you a world of gratitude. You were a rock! All the challenges you faced in raising five girls, taking care of Dad and working full time plus. You kept our family together, gave us a place to live, clothed and fed us. There were times I didn’t know how you did it. (You didn’t get the thanks you deserved!) Your hard work, dedication to your Lord and Family will have a lasting legacy for generations to come. You set a great example of Perseverance, Love and Faith! You are greatly missed and will always be in our hearts! Love you Mom

Finley

Finley

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In memory of our beautiful angel Finley who was born January 18, 2020….

On September 24, 2020 Finley fell into the arms of Jesus. We didn’t have her long enough, her life had just begun. The short time she was here taught us so much, our lives will never be the same. She taught us what really matters and how precious every moment is.
We miss you every single day and wish you were here. I know you’ll be there to greet us when our time is near.

Climb those mountains my beautiful soul….

Grandma

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Rose Marie Bilger

Rose Marie Bilger

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An empty place no one can fill, we miss you and we always will. A mistake not your own took you away. A mistake your family lives with every single day. A Memory, a Tear, is what we will always share. We miss you dear mother more than we can bear.
With Love, from your daughters, Valerie, Cheryl, Sandy, Carol and Donna